Leo Hirson: Chairman/ “Strawberry Blond” Tyrant.

On pitch, Leo likes a little ‘argy-bargy’ (almost as much as Clare likes to barge the Argies off it…)  In a chukka he is fondly known as ‘The Ginger Pitbull’ due to excessively high testosterone levels interfering with the blood supply to his brain.

Eli Evans:  Captain/ “International Wine Tasting Commissioner”.

Elaine’s bark is bigger than her bite and whilst she is a fearsome beast in a match situation she likes to show many boys er, people her Soft, Feminine side whenever and wherever she can.  Favourite activities include passing out in club toilets, upon the Chinawhite’s sofa at Cartier and sampling the finer things in life.

James Holloway:  Borderline Professional/ Resident Poser.

James may not always play the part on the pitch, but his polo-Pro performance is faultless off it.  With his lithe body and flowing, Byronic locks James is known to his closest circle as ‘El Orgulloso’:  The Proud One.  The reason why still remains unknown.  Besides Ricky; I thought I was Jilly C’s number one fan.

Clare Gardner:  Treasurer/ “Argentine Relations Manager”.

With infinite charm Clare is frequently known to extract the ‘WE’ out of every type of ‘WEasel’.  Lucky, lucky boys.  And whilst she embodies elegance in her playing technique on the field she prefers to adopt the ‘rough and ready’ approach to social situations.

Nikki Eastham:  Polo Manager/ “Drugs Confiscation Unit”.

Nikki is an organisational demon and uses her skills to reflect the art of the tactician in a match.  With a crafty tweak of the girth here and a yank of the bridle there Nikki knows how to win.  I am bound by legal requirements to omit details of Nikki’s social activities.

Tom Bozek:  Sponsorship Rep. / Countryside Bounder.

This English Gent has many an-outdoor-pursuits strings to his bow.  Often confused as a ‘shy starter’, Tom has gone from strength to strength in his polo career.  A rock of stability in any position:  Tom is the ‘tower of strength’ girls want to lean upon in a team situation.

Susie Richards:  Secretary/ “Groupie Liaisons Officer”.

Susie is best known for pioneering our ‘polo outreach’ program through her adoption of established groupie, Edward James, in December 2005.  Whilst she may be as cute as a Chihuahua; do not let this deceive you.  After all, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

Nonni ‘I-cannot-pronounce-her-surname’ Wanjihia:  Social Secretary/ Token Ethnic Representative.

Polo is known for opening all sorts of doors…for Nonni, it is the one to the bar.  This Kenyan Princess is keener on the P in Panache than the P in Polo or even Ponies.  And whilst she can shake both legs on the pitch she prefers to do it on the dance floor.

Anna Brady:  Clothing Rep. / Attractive Prospect.   

This ‘Elfin Beauty’, once described as ‘The Iron Fanny’ by a frustrated Leo, redeems the rest of the committee rabble by being ‘boring as a fart’ (not so boring if you are stuck in the same car as Susie or Eli after a particularly heavy night out).  Unfortunately this only seems to ignite male ardour despite Anna remaining ‘tight lipped’ both on and off the field.

Jenny Fisher:  Polo Manager (Numero Uno)/ “Team ‘Feel-Good’ Coach”.

Jenny is famously renowned, not only in the Bristol set, but on the ‘Polo circuit’ worldwide.  I just do not know how she does it?  But let’s just say after she met Mrs. Cooper; Jilly put in a personal request for her to be cast in the up and coming film of ‘Polo’.  She said (and I have this on record): ‘Kate Moss and Jodie Kidd have nothing on this girl in either looks or skill; it would be a bloody crime to let her slide through our fingers’.  Yes, she may be beautiful and outrageously blessed in both the physique and general talent department.  And honestly, there must be some very mal-coordinated, not to mention ugly girls waddling around somewhere because she has hogged so many perfect genes.  BUT, she is also the most modest and kindest girl I have ever met.  She is so generous with her time and oblivious to the constant people/pony/car pile-ups she causes wherever she deems to go.  All of you could learn something from her and you should not waste this opportunity, SERIOUSLY.  I think that was all…oh and she will give out autographs upon request (suggested donation: a complimentary polo lesson but no cash please: it would offend her sense of class.  And she is single…open to offers from millionaires and models only.  Best to have both to secure her consideration.  Thanks).

All profile written by Miss J. A. Fisher who cannot be held responsible for any retaliation or…anything in fact.  Oh and I guess we should have mentioned the computer geek who set this whole thing up.  I think his name is James Carper…Carter?  Oh well, who cares, Polo is only for verrrry cool and good looking people anyway.

Profile of the Month:

William Noble:  Member since October 2005 and “Example Beginner”.

Young William hatched from the egg as an ugly duckling.  He couldn’t ride; he only owned jodhpurs and, worst of all, resembled a canon ball in his crash helmet.  Urghh.  A year on in, this uncouth, gawky hatchling has blossomed (under the guiding hand of our dedicated Captain) into a beautiful swan.  He now knows his ‘Neck shot’ from his shoulders and his ‘Shoulder barge’ from his boats.  This talented individual may have experienced a few tumbles but he has come out on top with ‘Novice Player of the Tournament’ at Edinburgh this year.  His determination and dedication is an inspiration for aspirations and an example to us all.  Except, off course, to Jenny Fisher.